To Find A Song for Bella's Heart and Thorin's Soul
by Denigoddess2001
Summary: "We must awake and make the day to find a song for heart and soul." -Neil Finn's "Song of the Lonely Mountain." Thorin is about to lose the Heart Under The Mountain because he has broken Bella Baggin's heart to the point where she can't put it back together. Only the Soul of the Lonely Mountain can heal the Heart. Can it be done or is it too late?


Author's Note: There is a heavy dosage of movie in this particular portion of the series, but I saw so many emotionally charged moments that fed the particular vision of what I saw evolving between Thorin and Bella in this tale that compelled me to include them. I've written in those missing snippets and pieces which fill out this author's vision and I hope that you will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. The love story of Bilbo (AKA Bella) and Thorin is a common theme in Hobbit fan fiction and I'm no exception. Like any other Thilbo fan, I gotta have my daily Bagginshield.

Disclaimer: All the characters appearing in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are copyrighted by Warner Brothers and the J.R.R. Tolkien estate. No infringement of these copyrights intended, and is not authorized by the copyright holder. I write this fan fiction only for love of the The Hobbit and not for profit.

Bella remained still upon her blanket, remember the downward spiral of recent events that now broke her heart into tiny pieces. Surrounded by a Company of thirteen dwarves, Bella Baggins have never felt more alone in her life. The pain that accompanied that aloneness threatened to swallow her whole if she didn't find a way to keep it at bay. Only earlier that night had everything turned to ash in the rain because of some hard rain and temperamental rock giants.

"Where's Bilbo?" Bofur exclaimed, frantically searching through the darkness and the rain, but seeing only flying rock and torrential downpour. "Where's the Hobbit?"

Thirteen pairs of eyes scanned the dark environment, but saw nothing in the darkness and the heavy rainfall. Finally, a familiar squeak met their ears and all of them searched to find it's source: Bella dangling from the rocky ledge, hanging only by her fingertips. Bofur pointed, "There. Hang on, lass! We'll get you."

"Please, hurry!" Bella screamed, her feet scrambling to get a toe grip on the jagged, slippery mountainside. "I can't hold on much longer."

Kili felt his heart leap into his throat as he saw Bella clinging to the ledge. Being one of the youngest and strongest, instinct overrode all else as he dove to grab her as she lost her grip. As her fingers slipped from the ledge, his hand firmly clasped around left wrist and for a second, he breathed a sigh of relief. She reached in vain with her right hand towards others in the company, but the distance was too great between them to reach her.

Bella, wide-eyed and frightened, let her eyes meet Thorin's. He forgot about Moon Runes and the Arkenstone in that one moment when he saw His One dangling by one handhold away from her death. He didn't think of any prophesy or mounds of gold when he saw his ghivashel hanging on for her life with only Kili preventing her fall. Thinking only of His One, Thorin leapt over the edge of the narrow mountain path, finding a good foothold beside his Hobbit.

Their eyes met, his narrowed with determination as Bella's remained wide with terror. "Stay with me, Bella. Look to me."

She swallowed and nodded once, her entire body numb with fright and trembling from the though of Death being only seconds away.

Thorin grabbed her by the collar, heaving her upward toward the Company above them. He saw Kili and Bofur grab firm hold of His one and he knew all was well. He turned to climb up the ledge when his foot slipped, sending him downward. A strong hand from Dwalin roughly grabbed him by his arm, hauling Thorin over the edge and back onto the narrow mountain path.

Chest heaving, trying to catch her breath, Bella gawked at Thorin Oakenshield. Both nearly lost their lives within seconds of one another. Balin's word's from the previous night lingered in her thoughts, haunting her like a Wraith seeking fresh prey. "_**At first we thought that the Heart of the Mountain referred to the Arkenstone, but now we know differently. He must make a choice: lose his One or lose our Homeland. Yet without the Heart of the Mountain, His One, he'll never be able to find it. Either way, he loses something beyond great price."**_

In the darkness, the rain mingled with her tears as she knew what must be done. She was a liability to the company and the one snag in a grander design that saw Thorin as King Under The Mountain. Bella felt the lump grow in her throat as her heart broke in her bosom as she wiped away those scalding tears that refused to quit falling. She breathed deeply for several seconds, refusing to let the others in the Company see her weak or to see her cry. She knew what must be done and it would be on her terms with her dignity intact.

"I thought we lost you, Hobbit," Bofur clapped Bella hardily on the shoulder.

"She's been lost since she left the Shire," a hoarse voice cut through the rain. Thorin Oakenshield's scornful look told all she needed to know, the temper in his eyes dimmed and there was a hoarseness in in his voice that hadn't previously heard, "You never should have come. Go home."

"You never should have asked me to come with you," she yelled back at him. "You came to me, remember? You had me become your burglar!"

"It is impossible to forget," Thorin growled, turning away and leaving her to lean against the jagged mountain wall for support. "You have no place amongst us."

"No, you simply have no place for me, do you, O Great and Wise King?" Bella sniped as she watched Thorin turn his back to her, heading further down the path.

"Dwalin!" Thorin barked, summoning his second-in-command to follow.

The Company soon found a small cave that provided respite from the driving winds and downpour. It was a dark space, but provided much needed warmth and dryness from the elements. The party searched the expanse of the cave for hidden dangers, but it seemed the Valar were with them that night because they found only darkness and dirt within the cavern. Thorin commanded that no fires be built and everyone immediately seek sleep. Soon, the joyful snoring of several Dwarrow echoed off the walls of the small hole in the mountain.

Bella curled into a small ball on top of her blanket, soaked and shivering from the rain and still reeling from nearly falling to her death. She longed to feel the two strong arms that had embraced her in Rivendell and she long for the calloused hands that had held hers as she and Thorin had walked under the crescent moon on a Midsummer's Eve. He had returned to her bedchamber only a few hours before first light and against her better judgment, she had invited him to stay with her. Being a Dwarf of honor, he only held her as they both slept, but she longed for that warmth and safety of his being. Her heart broke as she recalled his rejection of her on the mountain path earlier that evening. Bella Baggins silently wept, trying to gather the strength to leave the Company.

Her mind returned to those wonderful hours in Rivendell where in the first rays of morning light, Thorin had gently rolled Bella onto her back, looking down at her curls sprawled over the white pillows that cushioned them. Kissing her brow good morning, he told her how he fought the urge to surrender to her in those first hours of morning. Bella had snuggled closer, laying her head against his heart and told him that he might make an honorable Hobbitess of her yet, because she had no desire to steal his virtue. His deep chuckle resonated deeply in his chest as he held her close. She knew for the first time in her life what it meant to give her heart freely and to receive another's love in return.

Two nights later, it was nothing more than ashes washed away by rain.

Quietly, Bella rose to her feet, strapped on her sword, grabbed her walking stick and stealthily made her way toward the cave entrance. She'd leave in the night and be halfway back to Rivendell by mid-morning. No more burden and no more heartbreak -problem solved. Carefully, she stepped over the sleeping bodies of the company, knowing that her footfalls would hardly awaken a sleeping Dwarf.

"Lass," Bofur called out to her just as she made her way to the entrance. Bella cursed as she forgot that Thorin had given him the first watch. "Where are you off to?"

"Back to Rivendell," she answered with quiet determination. Acid burned her words. "I obviously am not welcome here."

"You can't leave now, Bella," Bofur rose to his feet and came to her. "You're one of us now and you can't be leaving us when we need you."

"I was never one of you, Bofur," she sadly reminded him. "Thorin regrets my presence here and says I shouldn't have come. You know what? He was right. I've had enough of his high and mighty delusions of grandeur and I'm tired of his antics. I'm not a Took. I'm a Baggins. I don't know what got into me, but I've come to my senses. I should have never left home."

"No," Bofur protested. "You're homesick. I understand, Bella."

"But, that's just it!" Bella threw up her hands in exasperation. "You don't. This entire adventure has been jinxed from the start. I am not a burglar. I am not Thorin's One despite what some runes might say. You're Dwarves and I'm a Hobbit. This is your life, but it isn't mine: to always be on the move, never staying in one place, never belonging to anyone."

She saw the sad, stricken expression on Bofur's face and Bella immediately regretted her hasty words. "Oh, Bofur! I'm sorry. I said things that I didn't- I'm sorry."

"You've made your point, Lass," Bofur's eyes shown bright even in the darkness. "We don't belong to anywhere and anyone. You have a home and you should go to it. I wish you well, Mistress Baggins, and we will miss you."

She gave Bofur a quick hug, then turned to begin her trek back to Rivendell. Counting stopping for breakfast and elevenses, Bella figured she'd make it back before sunset. He looked down at the sword brushing against her skirt. "What's that?"

Bella looked down, pulling the sword partially from its sheath. She saw the faint blue glow enveloping the mithril

blade. "Oh, bollocks."

She remembered how the company had fallen through the fabricated crevices of the cave floor and she had faced the challenged with Gollum while the rest of the company had to outfight and outthink an entire Goblin King. While down in the murky, dank expanses of the caverns beneath, Bella Baggins had found her personal treasure, her personal precious trove of which she told no one. During that time, she had regained her mind and her good Baggins judgment. Scampering toward the early morning sun, she saw the Company sprinting toward the brightest point along the mountainous terrain. With the ring on, things appeared as surreal and blurred as they had the night when Oin had read her runes, akin to having to much Old Toby and Elvin wine at the same time.

She noted how the world appeared bleak and gray when she wore the ring and how golden and vibrant it appeared when she was with the Company. The cold dampness from the previous night's rain and time in the caverns seeped past her skin into her bones, prompting Bella to want to feel warming rays of sun on her skin. She stopped at a point, considering her options. _**I've signed a contract to become part of a company on a suicide mission. I've fallen in love with a Prince who is stubborn, arrogant and thinks me a burden, but wants to get up my skirts. He has no faith in my heart and I can't possibly understand why I put up with such nonsense. I am a fool of Took and it's time to listen to the Baggins side.**_

"Seven, eight, Bifur, Bofur. Ten, so far!" Gandalf counted, standing atop a rock while catching his breath. "Who's still missing? Kili, Fili, twelve and Bombur. Thirteen Dwarves, but where is our Hobbit? Where is she?"

Gandalf bellowed the question out to the Company and Bella watched thirteen pairs of eyes gawk at each other with confused expressions.

"Begone with her," Dwalin spat "If she's lost, it is of her own accord!"

"I thought I saw her with you," one voice called out.

"Who saw her last?" Gandalf asked, pressing hard for an answer. It touched Bella's heart and broke it simultaneously to hear the worry in the Old Wizard's voice. He was the only one, besides Bofur and Balin, who had truly wanted her participation on this adventure. She let her slender fingers touch the simple gold band and was ready to slip it off, yet the temptation to see what the others thought of her was too great a temptation.

"The last time I saw her was when we fell through the floor and into the Goblin's clutches. I think Mistress Baggins disappeared when we were first captured," Nori answered. Bella studied the ginger Dwarf, think of how he reminded her of Radagast the Brown with his triangular pompadour and outspread tufts at the sides. She felt the heavy tugs at her heartstrings as she saw the obvious looks of worry crossing several of the Dwarves' faces.

"What happened next?" Gandalf's voice rose in the morning air, a wild urgency about it.

"I'll tell you what happened, Master Wizard," Thorin strode forward, anger heavy in his words. He pointed to the west away from the rest of the group. "Mistress Baggins saw an opportunity nd she took it. She has thought of nothing but her arm chair and her warm hearth since she departed the Shire. We have seen the last of our Burglar. She is long gone."

Oh, how each word pierced her heart at that moment. The venom and betrayal in his voice burned against her soul, but a small voice nagged Bella in the back of her mind, _**Part of what he said was true. I do miss those things.**_

Bofur's voice wafted through her thought from the previous night's conversation, _**We don't belong to anywhere and anyone. You have a home and you should go to it. I wish you well, Mistress Baggins and we will miss you.**_

_**We don't belong to anywhere or anyone. You have a home and you should go to it. . .**_

Silence fell over the company as Bella watched as each of their faces fell, overcome by the realization that she was gone. Her heart ached for these Dwarves who had risked so much for something that she had always taken for granted. She wanted her life to be more than the sum of her great-grandmother's China and doilies, her books and her business. She wanted these brothers, friends and loved ones to know the same blessings that she had always possessed. She wanted them to know what it felt like to have faith, love and trust returned in kind. She wanted to know what it felt like with a particular Dwarvin Prince that had engraved his name upon her wrist and seduced her with a song. Belladonna Baggins knew that she had found her true purpose of her, otherwise, bland and purposeless life.

"Sorry, no, you're wrong, Master Oakenshield," Bella smirked as she stepped from behind a tree. "I am right here."

Gandalf nearly jumped out of his hat because her sudden appearance startled him and Bofur gave a visible smile of relief. Kili and Fili happily exclaimed her name in unison and a gasp of collective astonishment came from the company as Bella stood before them. The Took and Baggins within her united in purpose for the first time in her life when she looked at her newfound family.

"Belladonna Baggins," the Old Wizard exclaimed. "I've never been so happy to see anyone in all my life!"

As she passed Balin, she saw his smile and gave him a quick hug. "Welcome back, Lass."

"I'm not going anywhere except with all of you, I promise." she whispered in his ear.

"Bella, you're all right!" Kili exclaimed, stepping forward to meet her. "How did the Goblins not see you?"

"Yes, how is that possible?" Gandalf pondered aloud, studying Bella with narrowed eyes.

Bella still held the ring in her hand, quickly slipping it into her pocket. Her mind searched frantically for a viable explanation until she could only say, "Well, a lady doesn't give away all of her secrets or her luck."

"It's of no consequence," Gandalf dismissed the question. "You've returned."

"It is of consequence," Thorin countered, stepping forward with his eyes locked only on Bella. His voice grew quiet "I must know. Why did you return?"

"Thorin, I know you doubt me and that hurts the most," Bella shrugged, sticking her hands in the pockets of her skirt. "You're right, I often miss the Shire and my little piece of paradise. I miss my books and my arm chair and my hearth. That was where I belonged and that was home for me. This reason I returned to you all is because home is where you make it, but you don't have one yet because it was taken from you. I will do what I can to help you regain it."

Thorin's eyes fell from hers as he swallowed, staring only at the ground for several seconds as the group took in her words. When he looked at her again, his eyes were vividly blue and shining with the glint of the morning sun in them. He nodded his understanding and made his way toward Bella with purpose in every step. Bella watched him, trying to determine if the expression on his face was one of anger or of acceptance.

"Bella," Thorin began, swallowing the large lump in his throat. "I don't know where to begin with you."

"How about at the beginning?" Bella looked into deep blue eyes, the ragged edge in his voice revealing Thorin's regret and longing.

"There are so many things-" he began, cupping her cheek. She turned her face into his palm, pressing a gentle kiss against his calloused hand. Howls and roars in the distance came through the morning air. Thorin turned his head to the directions from where they came. "We will have to finish this conversation later, _**Men Kala**_. Out of the frying pan."

To Be Continued. . .


End file.
